


Broken Pieces of Me

by wolves_and_starlight



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Cannon compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dead Peter Parker, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Whump, Gen, Grieving Tony Stark, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, I Blame Tumblr, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I write to music, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, If Tony is Irondad than Pepper is Ironmom, Imagine Dragons Is My Jam, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Irondad, I’m bad at writing, Maybe - Freeform, NOT STARKER - Freeform, Not Beta Read, One Shot, One-Shot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Tony Stark, Past Character Death, Peter Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is the Character Death, Peter Stark - Freeform, Poor Peter Parker, Post Avengers Infinity War, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Tony Stark, Short One Shot, Sorry Not Sorry, Starker Can Burn In Hell, Teen Peter Parker, Thanos is a dick, The Author Regrets Everything, The Blip, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Lives, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Whump, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, i think, im sorry, im sorry in advance, screw you Thanos, spiderson, the snap, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26402269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolves_and_starlight/pseuds/wolves_and_starlight
Summary: Tony finds recordings of Peter three months after the events of Avengers: Infinity War.OrOne half sized serving of IronDad/Spider-Son whump
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 196





	Broken Pieces of Me

**Author's Note:**

> My first Marvel fic! I stumbled across a heart-wrenching Irondad fanart piece that had me *dead* and this just kinda spilled forth from that. If you wanna see it the link is here: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/603060206331538004/
> 
> As soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to write it, so here we are! One smol plate of emotional whump for ya! This takes place about three months after Infinity War 👀  
> I was also heavily inspired by Lansfics7’s view on Tony and Peter’s relationship (also pleaseeeee go read their works I promise you won’t regret it!!!)
> 
> Oct 15: Thank you all for 1000 reads! Y’all are so amazing ohmigosh- ಥ_ಥ
> 
> Edit, Oct 30: To previous readers who have already skimmed through this wee one shot, I’ve added on some extra angst to the ending >:) 
> 
> Okay enough ranting from my end XD Enjoy!

Tony had found them by accident. He might have never found them at all if another night’s nightmare ridden sleep had him up in the compounds’s lab at 2 AM, skimming through an archive of rough schematics and blueprints for older Iron Man tech. He had been searching for layouts for new circuit boards to fix a malfunctioning gauntlet that spewed sparks whenever it was connected to power.  


Images from his dream kept flashing in his mind; the barren planet, a moon fracturing in a haze of purple and  hurling at him from the sky, Peter- Tony shook his head trying to clear the painful memories, swiping across the 3D screen projecting in front of him from the small device in his hand. Dozens of folders flashed across the screen, Tony only barely reading the titles before jumping to the next screen. He was just about to flip to a new page when a folder title caught his eye; his hand freezing and starting to shake barely an inch away from the hologram.

_ ‘Peter’s (Spiderling’s) saved calls and check-ins.’ _

His legs suddenly felt wobbly and he sunk into the nearest seat, which happened to be a small couch against the wall. An all too familiar burn started at the back of his eyes. The gaping hole that had been torn open in his chest three months ago ached a thousand times worse. Tony sucked in a breath and held it for a few seconds. His hand moved and selected the files, pressing play on a random audio recording. Peter’s voice rang out in the silence and the sound sent the tears streaming down Tony’s face.

“ _Hi Mr. Stark. Just thought I’d check in. Again. I saved a lady’s cat from a tree earlier, she tried to give me some money and I told her not to worry about it but she practically shoved it into my hand.” He chuckled on the line._ _“So I used it to get some new parts for that processor I told you about.”_

A broken smile tugged at Tony’s lips. Peter had been working on a new computer in his spare time. Tony had offered to upgrade his gear but Peter stubbornly refused, saying that he wanted to build it instead. Something about sentimental value.

_“Anyway, I should go. I need to get back before May starts to worry. It’s Peter, by the way,_ ” he signed off awkwardly.

Tony’s breath had been growing faster and uneven. The next recording was dated a week after Germany.

“ _Hi Mr. Stark! I just wanted to thank you again for the suit. It’s amazing, really, and I promise not to let you down._ ” The teen’s voice was overflowing with excitement and an eagerness that Tony had never heard in someone before. He played the next one regardless of the sharpening pain growing in his chest.

“ _I saved a little kid today, and he called me their favourite superhero.”_ The kid’s voice was bursting with pride. A sob escaped Tony’s throat. “ _First time I’ve ever been called a superhero before.”_ The smile was so clearly evident in his tone.

Tony couldn’t hold it back any more. The weight of his loss was so close to crushing him, the pain in hearing Peter’s voice was so damn bittersweet it  _hurt._

Shattering guilt, anger, loss and pain knotted themselves in his stomach and tightened so much they probably would never come undone. Sobs practically ripped themselves from his throat and his breath hitched every few seconds. Tears streamed down his face and dripped onto his jacket, darkening the fabric. He leaned back against the couch and rested his arm across his eyes; more recordings playing automatically.

“ _Hey Mr. Star- Right, you said not to call you that. Tony, it’s me-“_

Tony lost him. He lost the closest thing he ever had to-

Oh fuck that, he had lost his kid. _His son._

“ _Remember that lady that bought me a churro? Well, I ran into her again and she got me another one, I tried to say no but ... let’s just say she’s very, very, convincing ...”_

It was his fault that Peter wasn’t here anymore. If he had been better, then Peter would still be alive. If he had just gotten the gauntlet off a fucking second sooner ...  


Peter would say that it wasn’t his fault. He would stare him down with those ridiculous Bambi eyes and tell him that he chose to follow him onto that ship, that he knew the risks. 

_“Hey, it’s me. Just finishing up some patrol work before I head over to the compound. And don’t you dare start working on that Arc processor until I get there! I mean it! Remember what happened last time?_ ”  Long story short, they were cleaning up glass for three hours.

_ “ ... May said yes to me staying at the compound over the weekend. You know what that means right? Star Wars marathon!!” Peter whooped. “And no complaining, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen it ...”_

“I’m sorry, kid.” His voice was a broken whisper. “It’s all my fault, Peter. I miss you- I’m so sorry ...”

There were hours and hours of audio files stored in there, spanning from when they first met. And Tony listened to every single one.  


  
⎊ ⎊ ⎊

When Pepper came looking for Tony in the lab early the next morning, she was greeted by him asleep, slumped over sideways on the lone couch in the room, a small holo projector in his hand. She didn’t hear the young voice until she walked through the doorway, her steps faltering and coming to a stop. Tears sprung to her eyes as she remembered the boy who had brought so much light to Tony’s world, and to her own.  


She hadn’t seen Tony happier in that year of knowing Peter than she ever had in her long history of being close enough to the Stark to notice.

Tony had even told her once that he considered Peter to be his own kid. And Pepper had felt the same; she told him so.  


So now, with that beacon of light and youth gone, the world felt colder than it ever had before. Pepper snuck back to the hall, careful not to wake the sleeping man, and set off to Peter’s old room in the Compound.  


Not much was left in the building, the halls were almost always empty and most of the rooms stood empty. No people scurried around, carrying message or field reports. The Quinjet stood gathering dust in the hanger. The sleeping quarters were all empty except for the one she shared with Tony. All but a single room at the end of the hall, four doors down from their own personal quarters, remained untouched. Star Wars posters still hung on the walls and half-finished projects littered the desk. Like their maker would come back and pick them up to finish like nothing ever happened.   


And that’s where she was headed.   


Because it felt like Peter. And she needed to hang on to that, to the presence of her surrogate son. To remember him and hold tight to his memory.

If not for herself, then for Tony.

And their unborn child.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so much for reading!!! Please let me know what you think about it bc your feedback and thoughts are what’s keeping me going with my writing (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> Love y’all 3000! ⎊


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